I was talking to a friend recently on the phone. Honestly, we were whining about that both of our families were down with the flu.
So we chatted for comfort and reassurance that this will pass. Somehow we ended up talking about friendship and the importance of community.
And there is one thing I always admired in her life. She has a powerful community with her two best friends. All of them living for over 15 years in Oslo and over time they build the routine to go out once a month. A fancy girl night out. Only them and they would go to a restaurant or maybe even sometimes a spa.
This community is something I always wanted for my life once I settled down. With me moving over the years so much, and never staying in a place longer than 2 to 3 years made that kind of community difficult.
So when we talked last, we felt both sad when she revealed to me that they don’t meet up anymore right now. All of them too busy with work, children, and life. If they are lucky, they get together once a year.
And frankly, she wasn’t aware of it. She thought it was just last month they met, but thinking about it, a year had passed without girl night outs.
But why do we let our friendships and community slip away?
When we get busy with work, family life or other things in our life, why is it often that friendships are moved to the side? I have heard it so often. It seems there is often this feeling of we can meet up tomorrow and the other stuff can’t wait. And yet, when is this tomorrow and will our friendships be the same after a long dry period?
Isn’t this the time we need the connection and fun most? And should hang on with dear life to these beautiful moments like a girl night out? Before the burnout, depression, and exhaustion hit us?
I mean scientifically we know how important friends are in our lives and for our overall well-being. So why do we push them to the side when things get busy first? Scheduling a meeting with your friends seems weird, particular if you have to plan it a long time ahead. Yet, why not treat yourself to a beautiful evening with friends and have that scheduled a long time ahead to have something to look forward to?
So we pondered a bit in our conversation about it, and she decided that it’s time to make it her a priority again and the three of them have met up since then and have scheduled their next meeting, even though it’s scheduled two months ahead.
So when have you had your last girls night out? Can you commit to connecting this week to one friend who needs your love?
Talk soon,
Cathleen
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