Yes, I the health coach struggles with extra kilos after birth.
The theory is simple, you and I know the answers on how to get back in shape. Reality is different. Making the necessary lifestyle changes can be daunting. And it’s never that easy is it?
As a health coach I feel that I need to have it all figured out. I know the answers and I also know the “how to”. The “do it” is challenging. For many of us it’s easier to give the right advice to others, but making the best choices for us can be downright hard.
Most of us know what we should or shouldn’t do, what we should eat, that we should exercise and yet we’re still not doing it. I’m no exception.
As far as I can remember weight was a topic for me. I always wanted to lose 2-3 extra kilos. Not being a big fan of dieting and probably not being bothered to much by it, it never happened.
Then came pregnancy and birth. It can appear that for some people getting back into their old body size happens within few weeks after giving birth. For me this isn’t the case, it’s after 2,5 years an ongoing challenge.
And let me say this. It’s not about getting the perfect body or getting exactly the body like before birth. The images we see in magazines is nothing I aspire for.
I acknowledge that my body gave birth to a new life, I had a healthy baby growing in me for 9 month. It’s a miracle! Something I’m very proud of and so should every women.
I want to feel vibrant and sexy.
That said, I want to feel vibrant and sexy. I want to play with ease with my child, run around, go hiking, skiing, swimming without limitations by too much extra luggage I carry with me.
Now as a Health Coach I can tell you immediately that I used the right word “Luggage”. It’s never only just about the food itself, there is always another story to tell.
My story is emotional and stress eating. Until 5 month ago, I haven’t slept longer than 2 hours in a row for more than 2 years. I was always tiered. Waking up every 1-2 hours each night to take care of my crying baby took a toll on me.
Sleep is one of the most important mechanism to restore and heal your body. Lack of sleep can lead to memory issues, weight gain, accidents, issues with concentration, weakened immunity, depression and the lists goes on.
There were plenty of days I made it barely through the day. My natural response was food, a constant craving for energy. It seems naturally, that food will provide you with needed energy. Yet each time it would only last for a short while. Realistically not the time to think and aim to loose a few kilos.
Fast forward I start to get more sleep and have more energy. But nope haven’t gotten yet to the stage of sleeping a whole night through. These days I face new challenges that are familiar to many mothers. I try to combine work (getting my business started) and my family. And it’s hard! I want to give my attention to both and on the side continue to take care of myself, my relationship and my hobbies. Balancing all aspects is a circus act and many mothers I have talked to can relate to this a 100%.
All of that lead that I actually gained 3 kilos in the last 3 month. It makes me feel like a failure.A failure to myself, a failure as a health coach and a failure as a mother being a role model to my son.
It’s incredible hard to write and admit it, even to myself.
Time for course correction for me and lean in to the process of change.
I want to take you with me on the journey. The next month I will focus to take care of myself and become the person I want to be.
After some thoughts I came up with following action plan.
1. Looking at my luggage or story and rewrite it!
We’ll carry around luggage in the form of beliefs, assumptions and expectations.
It’s time to identify the luggage and sort it out. Take time to look at each belief, thought, assumption and each expectation. Evaluate what is worth keeping, what is worth modifying, what is worth to let go and are there new items to acquire.
Questions to get you and me started:
What example do I want to set for my children?
How do I want to feel before, while and after eating?
Is there a trigger that starts the craving or wish for food?
What type of food am I craving when I’m in that situation, like being tiered, exhausted?
How does it make me feel giving into the craving?
What tactics have worked in other parts in my life to make a shift?
The best way to answer these questions is to write them all down and accept all emotions that come up while evaluating and searching for the answers. I believe this step is the hardest. From here it will get easier.
2. Loving my body as it is!
A tough one.
After some research I found following exercise that sounds feasible and may work:
Stand alone and naked in front of the mirror. State out loud “I see you and accept you”. Wait. Tension will arise, thoughts like “you’re not good enough”, “you’re ugly”, “your breasts are too big, too small,…” will start coming up. That’s okay, let them appear, listen but try not to judge.
Then slowly guide the tension out of your body through your arms and feet. Starting saying “I accept you” to yourself in the mirror. This process can take some time.
Continue to increase awareness every time a negative thought about yourself is crossing your mind and try to replace it with saying or thinking “I accept you” and then let go of the thought.
3. Find a replacement activity!
Every time stress or overwhelm appears and the craving starts find another activity. Choose one activity to stick with to make it as easy as possible. This may be drinking a glass of water and waiting for 20 minutes and see how you feel, it may be a short meditation, if you like scents, try to smell different essential oils (lavender is a good option for staying calm, while aroma of orange is uplifting).
I will use my essential oil diffuser necklace and fill it with some orange essential oil.
4. Eat only when I’m hungry!
Next step seems simple. Eat only when my body is hungry and eat mindful. It sounds like a no-brainer, that said I got 
used to eat on my child’s schedule, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack. Independent if I’m hungry.
Further many diets suggest to eat regularly, for example every 3 to 4 hours. So the snacking came easy and felt justified to me. And while this may work for many people, right now it doesn’t serve me.
So I will let go. I hang a photo of me on the fridge from a time I felt vibrant and great. It stops me and gives me the opportunity to check in. Am I hungry or is this a craving this will pass by very fast. Time to smell on my diffuser necklace with the orange essential oil?
A reminder, like a photo, a little statue or a candle can help to stay focused and to increase your awareness during the period of changing a habit.
5. Let go of over evaluating what I put in my mouth!
No gluten, no dairy, no sugar , no meat – a very limiting protocol. It became stressful to aim for a strict diet. I believe in bio individuality, we’ll have different needs at different times of our lives. Of course certain foods are bad for you. But in the midst of letting go, restricting myself is challenging. Through my education I already experimented with foods and know how my body reacts to different types of food. Therefore instead of following strict set up guidelines, I want to increase the foods that make me feel good and natural will let go over time of things that make me feel tiered. Listen and know your body. It’s worth trusting.
That said, I will continue to avoid sugar, I want to be less strict for now with other foods to decrease stress. Time to stop the “I have to” like it’s a death sentence and enjoy food again.
6. Sleep and Rest time!
While a whole night sleep is not yet happening, I get more sleep. My focus will shift from “how often I woke up during the night” to being grateful for each full hour of sleep I got. The mental shift from negative to positive is elevating the experience and increasing feel good hormones.
Further plan and take time for rest. I don’t know about you, but for me it can be tough to prioritize rest or getting an early night’s sleep. There is always more to do. That said research shows again and again rested people are more efficient and productive. So why not try this?
These are my 6 steps I will follow for the next month. I look forward to the journey and will share with you my results.
And yes, no mention of exercise. While I could exercise more, I feel I move enough for where I’m in life right now. Nope, no fixed scheduled daily work out. I’m active in the garden, play and walk with my family. We go on hikes and spend a lot of time outdoors.
Maybe there comes a time I want to do more exercise. I will tackle it when I get there. Now I’ll let go of anything not helping me and all the “I should” and focus on the one thing I want to change. It’s time to enjoy this journey.
Now I want to hear from you. What do you struggle with? What is one action you can take now to resolve your challenge? Join me in the challenge of getting a vibrant and feel good body?
Love to hear from you!
Cathleen
